Shifting Ideas

It’s amazing to me how God molds us.  How we think we’ve got our lives planned out the way we want them and then he gives us something totally different.  It’s hard to grasp, to conform ourselves to God’s way and the opportunities He has set before us rather than our own plans.

Now, if you’ve read this post, you know about my love and passion for home.  I thought I had it all figured out. I wanted to stay home and be a blessing to those around me.  If God chose for me to marry someday, fine.  And if he had other plans, fine.  I had learned that contentment is found in the Lord and not in circumstances. I was enjoying my time serving my family and church family.  I was home, where I loved to be and with the people I loved, serving the God I love.

Then came summer and my service changed forms. I was five hours away from home, working 6 days a week.  I had amazing opportunities to share Christ’s love with those I had never met and to grow in my faith as well.  At times, I was very homesick and there were times when I learned about things that I didn’t want to know, but the rewards far out-wayed the costs.

Before camp was even over, I was asked to consider becoming the camp secretary. Wait God, that wasn’t the plan. How can I leave home and my family?  I talked to my parents and they were all for it.  A new, great opportunity to grow in Christ’s love and to serve him in a different environment than ever before.  I was still torn.  I remember calling home one day and I talked to Bethany.  She said, “Mommy told Becca and me that you might be staying at camp and you will NEVER come home again.”  I remember talking to Mom (who quickly set Bethany to rights about the whole thing) crying and telling her that I didn’t want to become one of those big sisters whose younger siblings barely know. I wanted them to know me, not know about me.  To be close and for us to be able to know what the other is thinking and feeling.   My mom is so comforting.  She told me of the great ways she was planning for us to stay in touch and it was because they loved me so much that they didn’t want me to leave.

God slowly helped me grasp the idea.  In the process, He has caused me to rethink the idea of a stay-at-home daughter.  I reread that post I wrote before and found this line:

A stay-at-home daughter is one who has chosen to stay under her Dad’s and Mom’s protection…

I thought about that and realized something: it’s still true.  You can live five hours from your parents and still be under their protection and authority.  You can be a stay-at-home daughter and not live with your parents.

Like so many other things, it’s a heart issue.

 

Being Content at Home

Lots of people think that a girl who chooses to stay home after graduation is just sitting around waiting to get married.  They picture that daughter as a princess sitting in a tower just waiting for her prince to come.  Sometimes they even imagine that she is being held captive by an evil dragon (parents) who stifles her.  They can’t imagine that a girl may love to be at home or that she would choose to give up the ‘equal opportunity’  feminists have worked so hard to give her.

Ahhh….those poor, befuddled people…

I would love to be married but at the same time I realize something. Marriage comes with many cares I don’t have right now.  I’m enjoying all the free time I have right now to serve others and I know that some of that will disappear or change forms when I marry.  So, for the time being, I’m enjoying it and getting all I can out of it. Now, I’m also told that a wife and mommy has some unspeakable joys that you can’t experience until you’re there. Maybe someday, I’ll have those joys.

Many girls find it hard to stay content at home and long to be married. Here are some things I have learned in this area:

1. Don’t fantasize about your wedding too much.  I’ve heard some girls talk about how they have their whole wedding planned out and they aren’t even close to marriage. I’ve never really thought too much about my wedding because I know it’s not all about me. After all, I won’t be marrying myself!  My husband has a say in things too!  I don’t think a lot about the wedding. I picture years later, after I’ve been married to my best friend for a long time, hoping to see my grandchildren and more!

2. Some things aren’t going to change after the wedding.  I mean, after all, you will still have dishes to do, chores needing to be done, and kids (hopefully!)  to take care of.  I think girls imagine that after they are married, all their problems will melt away.  Not true!

3. Make the most out of your time at home.  Lots of moms have told me that they wished they had made more out of the time before they got married.  I want to be able to look back on these years and know that I served with all I had!

If you aren’t content without a husband, you won’t be content with one. Contentment comes from God!  He alone can satisfy.

“Nothing makes God more supreme and more central in worship than when a people are utterly persuaded that nothing – not money or prestige or leisure or family or job or health or sports or toys or friends – nothing is going to bring satisfaction to their sinful, guilty, aching hearts besides God.”
-John Piper

A great article on contentment can be found HERE.