Tenebrae: literally; Darkness

Holy Week has arrived. Truly my heart’s desire was to be able to gather with my church family this week but that was not the Lord’s will.

I have spent this week in contemplation of the cross. I think as believers we don’t like to linger there. We love to run on to the joyful celebration (rightly so) of the resurrection but we don’t like to sit and gaze at the destruction of the cross. We may pause for a moment but even then, Easter is in the back of our minds. We have that luxury because we know the whole story.

So this week, I have put myself in other peoples’ places. I have read through each Gospel account of the betrayal and death of Jesus but stopped reading at the burial. I have walked in the garden with Jesus and felt his loneliness and desperation, as he knows all that is about to come upon him. As he cries out to the Father for another way but fully submits himself to the pain of betrayal, of desertion, and of physical suffering beyond belief.

I have sat with the disciples as they casually fall asleep when they should have been praying. I hear Jesus’ gentle rebuke and plea and his understanding as he knows how weak we are. I have felt the disciples’ utter confusion and hopelessness as they see their leader torn away and crucified before them. What is going on??

I have wept at the tenderness of Christ on the cross. Experiencing the worst pain I can think of, yet still caring for others. He sees his mother and thinks of her welfare by placing her in the care of his beloved friend. He asks forgiveness of those who are killing him. He ministers to the thief hanging to die beside him and gives him hope.

As he hangs there, the earth is filled with darkness. The Father turns his face away from the sin that he can’t behold and Jesus is left all alone. He cries out in despair and the curtain that separates man from God is torn in two. Scripture has been totally fulfilled in every way.

The Son of God gives up his spirit.

 

What are you afraid of?

This is kind of a follow up to my last post so if you didn’t read that one yet, you might want to start there.

I shared before how it’s hard for me to find time to get a deep enough conversation going so that I can witness to my co-workers. BUT I do have one thing going for me. At my old job, we had these “Random questions of the Day” that we would ask each other in the office. It was super fun and they ranged from really shallow, (If you could only wear one set of clothes for the rest of your life, what outfit would you pick?) to fairly deep, (What is one passage of Scripture that you don’t understand or confuses you?) 

I found that it’s a really good way to get to know another person and to start conversations so on the very first day of my new job, I started asking “Random Questions of the Day.” It’s to the point now where some of my co-workers will very determinedly find me and ask ME what the question is if I don’t ask them first. It’s also pretty handy because it’s an intentional way to get to know another person without them really realizing it.

So, one day last week my question that I thought of just happened to be, “What is something you are afraid of?” I had gotten several answers such as spiders, the dark, etc. I was close to being done for the day and excited to leave because I had several places to be that evening and needed to leave right after work. I was hurriedly cleaning up some dishes in the meat department when one of my co-workers (who is probably the most persistent about the Question) came in to tell me his answer after thinking about it for a while.

“I have my answer.”

I looked up absent-mindedly. “Oh ok. What is something you are afraid of?”

“Dying.”

I can’t quite explain the feeling that came over me. It felt like someone had smacked me upside the head with a board but at the same time a door was flung open right in front of me. Considering all the other answers I had received (and that my answer was snakes), this was totally unexpected. I believe I whispered, “Oh, Jesus” in my head. Outwardly I was cool as a cucumber.

Feeling the weight of my words and knowing exactly where they would lead me, I asked, “Why are you afraid of dying?” He explained that he had done a lot of dumb stuff and could have died.

Me: “Do you know where you would go when you die? What do you think happens when you die?” I have already had conversations with this young man (he’s actually only 15) and knew that he was unsaved and didn’t know anything about the Lord.

Him: Well, with me it could go either way, I guess.

Me: …slowly… “What do you think is the determining factor as to where you go? What determines if you go to heaven or not?”

He did not have an answer. I inhaled slowly and shared the only way to get to heaven. Standing in the meat room, washing dishes, I told this young man about salvation and hope. I told him there was only one way to be rid of a fear of death.

And then he was called to the front and it was time for me to clock out. But I have been praying for him and for the other girl who was walking in and out of our conversation, listening the whole time. Praying for God to change their hearts.

Hmmm…how very simple it was and yet how very hard at the same time. I felt like my face was on fire and my brain was going to explode. In that moment, I truly did not see a person standing before me but an eternal and LOST soul! And I think the weight of that was a little overwhelming. But praise God for putting some words in my mouth for once! What an answer to prayer!

[Side note: As I was rushing quickly out of the store because I was then running late, one of the other girls asked me what the Question was. I quickly told her and she instantly replied that she was afraid of not being able to achieve greatness in life. I hesitated for a moment and I’m pretty sure my thought was, “Lord, I LITERALLY do not have time, strength, or energy to do this again today!” Fortunately these questions are also easy to come back to and I plan to follow up on that one too. What a difference one small, intentional, question can make!]

 

Using Opportunities

I was home sick from work with a 101.4 fever and nasty cough. Curled up on the couch, I was trying to get Netflix to work when my house-mate got home. “Have you heard the news?” Nope, I pretty much slept all afternoon. Apparently, there had been a terrible accident less than a mile from where we both work. She plopped down on the couch beside me and pulled up the news to show me pictures. A pickup truck driver had gone off the road a little ways, over corrected, and then his vehicle rolled several times until it stopped in a field. The truck no longer looked like one; it looked like a small car in the photos.

“Is the driver okay?” I asked.

“Uh, looks like they took him to the hospital. That’s all it says.” And right then, as we looked at the article, an update popped up to inform us that the driver had died. Oh, it was so sad! And as this young man’s story unfolded in the next couple days, a heavy burden was placed on our hearts for this family.

He was in the military and had gotten home from basic training just that morning. He was 19 years old, engaged to be married, and his fiance was pregnant with their child. His family lives right on that road where the accident was, about 2 houses farther down. We consider his family neighbors to the Farm where I work and he actually helped out at the farm a couple times. He made a mess in one of our barns with a few friends one time, but he went back later that day to clean it up. His name was David and he died on April 16, 2015.

As we all thought of ways we could bless the family, God dropped an opportunity right into our laps. The field where he crashed just happens to belong to the owner (We’ll call him Matt) of the Farm where I work. The day following the accident, a young man appeared in our office and asked to speak to the owner. I directed him to the correct place and didn’t think anything of it. The next day, he came back and asked me to let Matt know that he was borrowing the digging tools he had asked for but would return them later. I called Matt to let him know and he told me the back story.

The young man was a good friend of David’s. He was driving the car that was in front of David’s and he saw everything in his rear view mirror. He was the first on the scene and saw his friends body as it hung half out of the car. The image was burned in his mind. He and three other friends wanted to put up a memorial cross in the field and had come to ask Matt’s permission. He got it of course and as they talked, Matt asked the friend how he was going to make the cross. The young man didn’t have any ideas yet and it just so happens that Matt also does some wood working. He offered to help the four friends and they walked to the shop area on the farm. As they worked, Matt had the opportunity to ask them if they knew where they were going when they died and to share the Gospel with them. They made a beautiful, wooden cross and Matt even helped them burn David’s name, birth date, and the date of the accident on the front. He also helped them burn their own initials on the back of the cross. They borrowed the digging tools the next day and placed the cross at the accident site. By the time they had finished everything, they were so grateful to Matt and told him to call them if he ever needed anything.

I drive past this cross every day on my way to work. And I say a prayer for the family every time I see it.

Matt was given such a cool opportunity. I’m overjoyed that God used him to represent Christ to the family and friends of this young man, David. I think, when something like this happens, we tend to close up because it’s an uncomfortable topic. But God wants us to share each other’s burdens and point others to Christ. This is something I need to work on.

Please be in prayer for David’s friends and family.

 

Bearing Burdens

I’ve had to do some serious thinking lately. I’ve been thinking about sin, bearing burdens, consequences, and death. (I know, a real pick-me-up here) Let me share some stories with you.

Story 1

One of our summer staff is going through a tough time. She was always very close to her cousin and they had many childhood memories together. Her cousin knew all about the gospel in her head but it never made it to her heart. She began to have mental problems which caused terrible physical pain for her. The problems were imaginary but the pain was real. She was suffering greatly so she decided to take her own life. My friend was heartbroken as she traveled from another state for the funeral. She has ended up staying here for a couple of weeks while her mom ministered to her family.

Story 2

During the time she is here, we had a mini summer camp weekend at the farm. A lot of our summer staff came and that brought in one very loved individual. This particular young man is about to begin his 4th year on summer staff so you can imagine the connection we have there. The camp started on Friday night and lasting till Sunday afternoon. On Sunday morning, this man’s grandparents showed up at the farm with some terrible news. His 16-year-old sister had committed suicide the night before. (No, not related to Story 1)  He of course, left camp and rushed home to be with his family. What I found out later was that on Friday, before he came, he had found his sister hanging from a tree and had cut her down and saved her then. She had recently began to suffer from emotional and mental problems. She felt alone in the world and so she didn’t want to be here anymore. Me and about 24 other staff members attended her funeral today.

Story 3

On Monday, one of our full-time staff went to the doctor because he wasn’t feeling well and found out that he has cancer. They don’t think it is very critical and he will be having surgery tomorrow to remove it. He is 23 years old.

Dear friends, please be praying for these three situations. It feels like our staff are being hit all at once. We are standing strong in the faith but these are heartbreaking situations that the Lord has given us at this time. The grief we have felt for these people is amazing considering none of us personally knew the ones who passed. The Bible talks about bearing each other’s burdens and weeping with those who weep. We have certainly been doing so. Please keep the families of the first two stories in your prayers and pray that the surgery goes well tomorrow. Thank you

 

2 Corinthians 1:3-4: “Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God.”