Big Sister Mode

I used that term one time during a conversation and I got funny looks for it. Obviously, the person I was talking to was NOT a big sister.  However, the phrase could use some explanation I suppose.

Big Sister mode is when God gives Big Sisters an essential extra supply of grace just when they need it. 

Big Sister Mode is when your parents think your mom just had a miscarriage and is going to the hospital and you keep it to yourself so as not to upset your siblings.

Big Sister Mode is when your little brother has a life threatening seizure and you are bawling your eyes out but then your parents leave in the ambulance and you instantly collect yourself.

Big Sister Mode is when your younger sister almost drowns in a lake and you don’t scream or cry.

Big Sister Mode is when you find yourself in scary situations but know that you are the oldest and if you panic then so will your younger siblings.  It’s when you put your emotions aside to deal with the emotions of others. It’s when you stop seeking someone to comfort you and you start to comfort others. You don’t have to be the oldest sister to have it; you simply have to be an older sister. (I suppose you could have big brother mode, but I’m not a brother so I’m not sure. 🙂 ) A friend of mine calls it survival mode.

I’ve thought a lot about those situations since that conversation. Why do I respond that way? I don’t think about it during those moments. I never THINK about going into Big Sister Mode. It just happens.

The more I think about it, the more I realize: it really is just by God’s grace. He provides strength at those times when it is most needed and mine is gone.  He gives hope to me so I can share it. He comforts me so I can comfort others.

It reminds me of these verses.

Isaiah 40:29-31

29 He gives strength to the weary
and increases the power of the weak.
30 Even youths grow tired and weary,
and young men stumble and fall;
31 but those who hope in the Lord
will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint.

 

How to Be a Sister (In Christ)

(This post goes right along with the last one. This is the post where I find it’s awkward to know that some men read this blog. Oh well.)

I’ve been thinking a lot lately on how we should love our brothers in Christ. These thoughts have been brought up by our Sunday School class and THIS book.  How should we as girls act around our brothers?  What can we do to encourage our brothers to be godly young men?  I really love this book and it has really opened my eyes to the (good) influence girls can have on guys. I always knew we could have a really bad influence but never realized how our actions can spur men towards Christ.

The chapter I just finished is on our words.  I’ve been learning from the words of Abigail, Rebekah, and Ruth.  All three of these women had a positive influence on the men they came in contact with.  Abigail deterred David from doing something rash. Her plea to him was full of diplomacy, dignity, and respect. David blessed her for her discretion.  Rebekah boldly gave Abraham’s servant more than he asked for. She kindly drew water for him and his camels. Ruth finds and points out the righteous aspects in Boaz and commends him for them.  These women knew how to act around men without flirting or going to the other extreme- ignoring them.

I think that in order to avoid flirting, lots of girls then ignore guys completely.  From It’s Not That Complicated (this part is written by a man):

“The opposite of flirting is not shunning, it is being friendly. As far as what is flirting and what is friendliness, it honestly comes down to where your heart is. Do you love your brother in Christ, wanting what’s best for him out of your interaction, not what’s most gratifying to you? A good rule of thumb is, ‘If you wouldn’t talk that way to your blood brother, don’t talk that way to a boy who isn’t.’ Also, ask your dad and brothers to observe you around guys; they’ll be able to tell if anything you do is flirtatious.”

Wow.  I’m probably one of those girls who, in my quest to not flirt, I avoid talking to guys at all.  But that isn’t obeying God’s command for us to encourage the brethren!  I’m learning all this now.  In the past few weeks, I’ve had such a love grow in me for my brothers in Christ. (Please take that as I meant it!)  I want them to grow closer to Christ and I want to encourage them to be the biblical leaders the world is discouraging them to be!  I don’t want them to think about me but about their mission to take dominion of the world and spread the gospel! That’s what I want to encourage guys in!

This book, this class, this summer has really changed the way I view men.  I used to view them as silly and shallow. A lot of the guys I knew were.  This summer, I learned that not all boys are like that. And that made me want to learn what I can do for my brothers!  I wanted to know what my biblical duty towards my brothers is. I know now that I need to encourage those silly, shallow boys to grow into the strong biblical men that Christ wants them to be!  This is such a freeing responsibility!  I’m excited to learn that girls and guys can truly be friends and I’m excited by the influence I can have on the men I know!

“A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.”  John 13:34-35

 

What Brothers Need

My biggest fear about living so  from home was that my siblings wouldn’t know me. That they would know about me but not who I am.  I wanted to be actively involved in their lives, not a spectator.  Especially with David.  I had read a lot about how a sister can impact her brothers and I wanted to spur David towards Christ.  I loved letting him know he needed to protect me and save me from bad guys.  I loved when he would put his arms around me and tell me I was his baby.  I loved when he would hold the door open for me. And I loved encouraging him to be a godly man for Christ.

In our Sunday School class here we have been talking about what it means to be a true woman of God.  One of the lessons hit me.  We talked about how we can encourage all young men in our lives toward godliness.  We should so reflect Christ that they are encouraged to be godly men.  Our meek and quiet spirit can spur them to be the biblical leaders the world needs.

I also just read a chapter in a book about that!  (Amazing, how God works!)  It was about demonstrating respect towards our brothers and also being interested in their interests.  The book talks about how girls always complain about the lack of godly young men but at the same time they are tearing down the manliness of their brothers.

All this hit me because I felt I couldn’t do that.  I live five hours from my brother. It never occurred to me that it could be done anyway, in the way I treat him when I call and skype.  Do I listen to him, even though I can’t understand a word he says over the phone?  I’ve made it a habit to encourage him every time I talk to him.  Usually this comes in the form of my telling him he’s my hero.  David loves super heroes- Spiderman, Superman, Batman.  He’s knows they save people and he runs around in his super hero costumes all the time. I want him to know that I admire his bravery- against imaginary villains, snakes, and Caroline-monsters.  (Okay, I might have to rethink that predicament.)

I’ve also realized that I need to be doing this with my sisters.  I need to encourage them to live as godly young ladies.  Also, I want to encourage them to see David as a young man and not an annoying little brother.

I’m learning to be more encouraging with everyone I know, especially my family.

 

Five Things: David

Five Things I love about my little brother David!

1. How he can be so sweet one minute and very sneaky the next.

2. He says I’m his baby.

3. He takes care of his sisters, but especially Bethany. If he gets a special snack, he always makes sure she gets one too.

4. His sneaky, dimpled smile.

5. He loves music. We have a video of when he was 2 and he is directing the William Tell Overture perfectly on beat. He pretty much taught himself to read by listening to an alphabet song.

 

Five Things: Mike

Five things I love about my older brother Mike:

1. He volunteered to go to Iraq so that a married man could stay here.

2. He is awful at playing the Wii, so it’s hilarious to watch him play it!

3. The way his face looks when he knows I have him logically trapped in an argument.

4. The way his hair is falling out. Hehehe…

5. He says he will beat up anyone who messes with his sisters.