Hello New York

Do you ever have those times when you think of a blog idea and then that wise voice inside your heads say, “Uh, bad idea…better not.”? But the idea nags and nags and eventually you find yourself at your laptop typing it out in spite of the wise voice? That would be this post.

I’ve been hearing a lot lately about righteous anger. And I’m a little tired of it to be honest. I understand where Christians get this from. Ephesians 4:25 says (quoting Ps.4), “Be angry and do not sin: do not let the sun go down on your anger.” And so you hear often about how you can be angry and not sin and I even heard today how sometimes we are commanded to be angry. People will use Christ as an example and talk about how he cleansed the temple and how God gets angry.

ENOUGH. I looked through the Bible and as far as I can tell this is the only verse that even comes close to “commanding” anger. I can quote several for the opposite. I also can’t think of a single time in my own life that my anger didn’t lead to sin, whether that was actually an action or just thoughts. I think for humans it is very hard to be angry and not sin. So let’s look at this verse in its context (the whole chapter would be best but for space…):

“Therefore, having put away falsehood, let each one of you speak the truth with his neighbor, for we are members one of another. Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, and give no opportunity to the devil. Let the thief no longer steal, but rather let him labor, doing honest work with his own hands, so that he may have something to share with anyone in need. Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.” Eph. 4:25-32, emphasis mine

I find it really interesting that immediately after saying, “Be angry and do not sin” the Bible warns us that anger gives the devil an opportunity in our lives. It further tells us to put anger and bitterness away from us and to be tenderhearted (not an American trait for sure) to each other.

That being said, I really do understand what believers mean by righteous anger. Being angry at the things that anger and grieve Christ. But I think we use it as an excuse WAY too often. Anger can easily lead to sin and bitterness which is why Ephesians says that all anger should be put to rest at night.

Why all the angry talk? Most of my good friends have been really angry recently. New York’s decision to allow abortions up to birth has blown fuses in believers around the country. And they haven’t been shy about expressing it.

Before I continue, let me outright declare that I am pro-life. I despise abortion and it kills me to no end. I volunteer with my local pregnancy center. I believe all life is God-given, is precious, and worth fighting for.

But I DO NOT believe in hating those that believe otherwise. I have been utterly shocked by my friends’ responses to New York. The sarcasm, bitterness, and rage has been rampant on social media. A good friend of mine commented on Facebook about a New York senator, “There will be a place in HELL for you!” and I sat there in shame as I read it.

This is not righteous anger. This is rage leading to sin. This is hatred and bitterness, all of which the Bible clearly condemn. How we have responded to this event tells unbelievers whether there is hope in the church (and in Christ!) for them or not.

SO

Hello, New York. Hello, abortion-minded women. Hello, post-abortive women. Hello, men that have been hurt by abortion. My name is Kimmy. I am a believer in Christ and I stand on the truth of his Word. I am pro-life and therefore I believe every. single. life. is precious. You might not agree. You might be hurting from a decision made in your past or you might be contemplating a big one right now. Whatever the case is, YOU need Christ as much as I need him. He gives the hope and life that you are so desperately missing. And I am sorry if Christians have ever made you feel unwelcome. You are welcome here, with me. Let’s talk.

 

It’s Lent for Me

Two nights ago I was laying in bed exhausted. But I was thinking and one thought just kept coming to my mind. “Lord, I wish it was Lent.”

Which is a totally weird thought for me. Growing up, we didn’t celebrate Lent at all. In fact, I secretly thought that the only people that did anything with Lent were Catholics or super legalistic people. I didn’t even really know what it was to be honest.

So you can imagine my surprise when I became an adult and found out that quite a few of my friends give up things for Lent. Still didn’t really understand it….but I came to the simple conclusion that it must not be a Catholic thing after all. It was a mystery to me honestly.

Last year I decided to do some research to figure out this whole LENT thing. I found out that it was the time period between Ash Wednesday (hmmm…wonder when that is…) and the Saturday before Easter- 40 Days. Which represent the 40 days that Jesus spent in the wilderness. And that a lot of believers use that time to give up something from their life and focus on Christ instead. Of course it can be something legalistic (like most things) but it doesn’t have to be.

So I decided to give it a try. I thought of something I wouldn’t want to give up but would probably give me more time to spend with the Lord. *Netflix* Annnnddd…I hated it. Truly. It’s not like I watch a ton of Netflix but I didn’t realize at the time how much my brain used a stupid baking show or Andy Griffith to wind down before bed. And at the time I couldn’t do much reading so I felt trapped and stuck. But I did it for the 40 days and decided I didn’t want to do Lent again. Great attitude, right?

You may be wondering then, why I was wishing it was Lent the other night? Because deep down, I wanted to be done with social media for a while. It was just one more thing for me to keep up with and it was wearing me out. And I know that isn’t the purpose of Lent, to give up something because you are done with it. But inside I was thinking that people would understand more during Lent. They wouldn’t think I was weird or crazy. I KNOW it’s pride, people!

And even as I thought that to myself, my…small…inner rebel spoke up and asked, “Since when did you start caring so much about what people think?” HA!

Inner rebel for the win, I’m off social media. And it’s such a relief. I expect I will miss things and my blog stats will plummet and I. Don’t. Care. When something isn’t drawing me closer to Christ, out it goes. Christ stays, but the world doesn’t.

So right now I’m just sitting here enjoying my early Lent. How about you?

 

Thoughts from 1am

I used to shake my head and laugh at those bloggers who stayed up till all hours of the night writing out their posts because I knew that would never be me. And yet here I am at 1am in the morning, typing out a post because I’ve tried everything else to fall asleep and it’s not working.

I have a very good night time routine. I don’t eat anything in the late evening, stay off electronics right before bed, and I’m usually in bed between 10-10:30pm. I brush my teeth, take my meds, read my devos, and lay down. Usually my meds knock me out within 10 minutes and it’s all good. But tonight it’s not working. I laid down and a very intense feeling of rage came over me. Why? Good question. I’ve been trying to figure that out for two and a half hours. And why it has happened the last two nights also. A feeling of frustration and anger for no reason that makes me restless and unable to fall asleep. Then I remembered.

When I first started taking these meds, my emotions got really out of whack. Like, seriously bad. Picture the stereotypical teenager in puberty and that’s pretty much what I was like. One minute I would be nice and cheerful and the next ready to scream at the top of my lungs with no cause for the change. It was SO frustrating to suddenly feel out of control of my emotions but still be responsible for them! A friend of mine suggested that I start taking a natural supplement, St. John’s Wort. I’m kind of wary of natural remedies (apologies to every lady at my church!) because I haven’t had any success with them and get tired of hearing how they will solve all your problems. But this lady is an ER nurse (plus my doctor agreed that it was a good idea) so I begrudgingly decided to try it for a few weeks and my emotions leveled out to a manageable degree. I haven’t stopped taking it in probably a year or so.

Until Wednesday when I ran out and forgot to get more! Guess when the issues started. Yeah…

You know, sometimes I hate taking meds and that supplement because I don’t like feeling dependent on them. But this week has reminded me that the side effects of my medications are real and I can’t ignore them. We live in a fallen world where things: hearts, bodies, brains, etc are broken and need help. It’s okay to use what God has given us to help them. It’s good to take the meds and be grateful for them.

Okay, that’s all. Now maybe since I got that off my mind, I can get some sleep! Goodnight all!

 

A Temporary Traveler

So you may have noticed that things look a little different around here…like I completely changed the name of my blog and stuff like that…

My domain was giving me all sorts of trouble (which is weird since I own that domain, but whatever) so in the end I just decided to start afresh.

I’ve been contemplating time lately. And feeling a little convicted. How much time do I spend on things that are of eternal value and how much do I spend on things that are temporary? As I thought about a regular day, I realized that not a lot of it was spent doing things that are of real worth.

And that’s how the new name came about. I remembered that this world isn’t my forever home, it’s a place I’m called to minister in for a while. I pray that as you read, you are encouraged and we can praise the name of Jesus together.