“Life’s Not Fair”

As I pulled back the covers and crawled into bed, the nearby ambulance was dispatched and the siren went by my window. It pushed my exhausted body and heart just over its limit and I started to cry. Suddenly, life didn’t feel fair to me.

I often heard that phrase growing up and I fully believe it and I think this may be this first time in the last 18 months that I have felt “injustice” in my life because of everything going on. I’ve had plenty of others tell me “it’s not right” and “you’re so young, you shouldn’t have to deal with this” but I just shrugged it off, thinking of how it could be worse.

But I always said I could deal with anything as long as it wasn’t stomach issues. And for the last 11 days, I have had constant, debilitating nausea. You can add dizziness, weakness, fatigue, and headaches to that mix too. I have practically laid on my bed or couch all day, and sometimes I’ve been unable to sleep at night because of the nausea. I’ve missed two important church events that I was really looking forward to. And for what? Side-effects of the new medication I’m on. (You may be thinking that my neurologist is a monster but I also haven’t had a seizure in 7 days so we are trying to work things out.)

I don’t often feel like my life is unfair. But that day was my birthday. I was miserable and try as I might to think about all the people who came around me and showed love and blessed me, I just needed to cry for two minutes and then I fell right asleep.

And I think that’s okay. I woke up the next morning, still feeling miserable, but able to thank God for all his blessings and appreciate my friends and family more. Life is certainly not fair, and I’m so thankful because I don’t deserve what I have.

 

My Devotions this Morning

Today, during my personal devotions I was reading 1 Kings 15-16. By this time, Solomon is dead and the kingdom is divided in two. I was getting into the part of the Bible where it mentions all the kings and a little about what they did during their reign.

 

“In the twentieth year of Jeroboam king of Israel, Asa began to reign over Judah, and he reigned forty-one years in Jerusalem. His mother’s name was Maacah the daughter of Abishalom. And Asa did what was right in the eyes of the LORD, as David his father had done.”   1 Kings 15:9-11

 

I love it when I get to read about a good king because they are all so far and few between (I can only think of 3 at the moment)!  I kept reading and came to:

 

“Nadab the son of Jeroboam began to reign over Israel in the second year of Asa king of Judah…”  1 Kings 15: 25a

 

And a little bit further:

 

“In the third year of Asa king of Judah, Baasha the son of Ahijah began to reign over all Israel…”  1 Kings 15:33a

 

Again:

 

“In the twenty-sixth year of Asa king of Judah, Elah the son of Baasha began to reign over Israel…”  1 Kings 16:8a

“In the twenty-seventh year of Asa king of Judah, Zimri reigned seven days Tirzah.”  1 Kings 16:15a

“In the thirty-first year of Asa King of Judah, Omri began to reign over Israel…”  1 Kings 16:23a

“In the thirty-eighth year of Asa king of Judah, Ahab the son of Omri began to reign over Israel…”  1 Kings 16:29a

 

It was at this point that I suddenly noticed that Asa was STILL king of Judah even though there had been SIX kings of Israel!  I’ve noticed in the past that if a king only reigns for a little while (for instance- 3 days!), it is usually because this statement followed their name:

“did evil in the sight of the LORD.” 

However, when the Bible records that a king did what was right in the eyes of the LORD, it’s usually good news and that king often has a longer reign than the evil kings. This just goes to show that God blesses those who worship him.  I’m not saying that nothing bad will ever happen to a righteous person, because that simply isn’t true!  All you  have to do it look at the New Testament to realize that.  However, the Old Testament is full of verses that promise God’s blessings on those who keep his commandments and follow after him.  Of course, the ultimate blessing will be eternal life with God but I think God also blesses his people on earth, too. 

Maybe it’s not with great wealth, maybe it’s with joy, family, or just the peace that only he gives.  I’m so thankful for God’s blessings!