The Pollyanna Project

I used to love the movie Pollyanna. As kids we would go over to my Aunt Tammy’s (who shares a very similar taste in movies as me) house and that was the movie I always picked to watch. I think it was probably her optimism that I liked the most. I was always an optimist and loved that about Pollyanna.

For those of you who (gasp!) haven’t seen the movie or read the book, Pollyanna is an orphan who comes to live with her strict aunt and somehow manages to find the good in every situation and person. She plays this game called “The Glad Game” and no matter what position you put her in, she will find something to be glad about. Of course she has some trouble at one point but I’m going to let you watch the movie and find that out for yourself!

So the other day, I had too much time on my hands to think and thoughts were creeping in about all the things I missed in life and wanted back. I found myself complaining inside. I was getting frustrated, uneasy, and unhappy and finally I had had enough of it. I sat down with a notebook and wrote out every single thing I missed from my ‘old life.’ Every thing I wished was different. Every thing I wasn’t content with. It was almost a full notebook sheet. Things like:

“I miss being able to drive”

“I miss working at the Farm”

“I wish I always felt a passion for devotions and prayer”

And then I turned the page. And for each line on the previous page, I wrote a very specific corresponding thing I was thankful for on the new page:

“I am thankful for so many friends who give me rides”

“I am thankful for my time at the Farm and that I still see my Farm family”

“I am thankful God’s Word is alive and working and he hears me when I pray”

Just like Pollyanna, I came to a point where I sat and stared at one line for a long time, unable to think of anything to be thankful for. Finally, I simply wrote, “I am thankful for salvation.” I’m glad when all else fails that I can always fall back on that and be utterly thankful and grateful for it.

Do you know what I did next? I tore out the first page and threw it away. I’ve done this same thing again since then and you know what I am left with? Pages of thankfulness. Reminders of God’s grace and goodness towards me. It may seem like a silly or simple thing to do but it really has helped. I’m calling it the Pollyanna Project (because who doesn’t like alliteration?).

We have so much to be thankful for, whether it’s big or small things. We just need to take the time to see them and express our thanks.

 

A Year of Tears and Thanksgiving

Today is the one year mark. Hm. The implications in that simple statement flood my mind with a myriad of thoughts and feelings. One year ago today I woke up and had the first seizure of many. I remember the confusion and exhaustion my body felt that day. When I got home late from work that night and laid on the couch crying in my confusion, little did I know how many tears I would shed over the next year.

I used to never cry. At least, very rarely. It was so rare that it was like a marker for that day. “Oh I remember that day! Yeah, because I cried.” Ridiculous, right? I know some people that cry at the drop of a hat. You know who you are. 🙂 But that wasn’t me; I just didn’t cry much.

I could probably count on both hands the number of days in the last year that I haven’t cried. Now you are probably thinking “Wow, what a crybaby.” I know, right? It’s been a rough year physically, emotionally, and spiritually. And I have struggled. And I have cried until I couldn’t anymore- literally, my body started to pass out if I cried.

I have cried tears of pain, confusion, exhaustion, sadness, frustration, and loss.

But I have also cried tears of thanksgiving. I have been thankful for faithful friends to walk with me and comfort me. I have been thankful for wisdom given to doctors and for small kindnesses of nurses. Most of all, I have been thankful for the blessing of being able to read the Word and find encouragement in it:

“You have kept count of my tossings; put my tears in your bottle. Are they not in your book? Then my enemies will turn back in the day when I call. This I know, that God is for me. In God, whose word I praise, in the Lord, whose word I praise, in God I trust; I shall not be afraid. What can man do to me?” Psalm 56:8-9

It is comforting to know that God keeps track of our tears. He knows our struggle and is actually able to relate with it. He knows what it feels like to weep because of loss and sorrow. I love that last part: What can man do to me? I will readily admit that man can do much to us but it reminds me that no matter what happens in this life, Christ has already won! And we are more than conquerors through HIM. What a thing to be thankful for, right?!

So today, one year later, I celebrate that victory. In this moment, do I feel victorious? Nope. I’m having 3-7 seizures a day, my back is killing me from all the muscle tension, and my head is about to explode. But today, I choose to celebrate in this life, the life that is to come because of what Christ has done.

Today, I choose to be thankful.

 

A Thankful Heart

 

I feel very thankful right now and I think that’s a problem.

I think we have this idea that thankfulness is a feeling.  When things go our way, when we get what we want, we are then thankful.  I don’t think that is God’s idea of thankfulness.

“Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.”  1 Thess. 5:18

Oh, it’s so easy to be thankful when we are feeling blessed and loved, when someone does something extra special for you, when you get to visit your family for thanksgiving.  But God calls us to be thankful in all circumstances. When we are homesick or lonely, when our car breaks down, when you receive an unkind look from someone.  That’s when it’s hard to be grateful.  I think it’s a conscious choice we must make. We must DECIDE to be thankful. Are you a saved son or daughter of the King? Then you always have an amazing reason to be thankful to our Savior!  You always have a reason to be joyful and full of gratitude!  No matter what is going on around you, you are blessed beyond belief!

This Thanksgiving, I am thankful for sanctification. I am thankful for God’s ever-loving hand that teaches me and brings me constantly closer to Him. I am thankful for the hard lessons that cause me to love Him more. I am thankful for His grace in my life.

I am thankful.

 

 

Gratefulness

I have been thinking lately about the ten lepers who were healed and the one man who came back to thank Jesus. Grateful people are lacking today. I want to thank God for every thing he gives me so here are five things I am thankful for today:

1. My family- I love them soooo much!

2. Snow!

3. Kisses from my baby brother.

4. My bed. Almost every night when I crawl in bed I say, “Ahhh, I love my bed.”  Not so much that particular mattress, just warmth and comfort in general.

5. Air. I’ve had trouble breathing before and it is not fun, so I’m glad God created fresh air!