Out of Sorts

Let me preface this story by saying: I’m an early bird. I usually wake up around 5-5:30 each morning and get a good start on the day. That being said, I am NOT a night person. To wake up that early, I normally head to bed around 9:30-10:30. Somehow, that schedule didn’t happen this week. I ended up going to bed late every night. Really late. Like midnight late. I just had stuff to do each night like volleyball, learning to process a deer, movie time with a visiting friend, and game night at a friend’s house. Usually I leave things early so I can go to bed but for some reason I thought I could do it all this week. So did I adjust my wake up time? Nope, I still was up at 5:30 every morning. May I just say that is a bad idea?!

Yesterday afternoon, I felt all ‘out of sorts’ to use an old phrase. I couldn’t figure out what was wrong with me but EVERYTHING seemed to annoy me! It was pretty terrible. I remained calm on the outside but the inside was full of turmoil. I began to print programs for our annual Country Christmas event that night. It was at this point that a coworker, whom we shall call Paige, stepped in.

She came over to my desk where I was piling the printed programs and asked, “Why are the programs being piled face down?”

And that’s when it happened. This came out of my mouth. “DOES IT MATTER?! THAT’S JUST THE WAY I’M PILING THEM! I’M NOT LEAVING THEM THERE!  Now, I wasn’t really yelling at her, in fact, it came out in a shrill silly kind of voice that made her laugh.

But I knew what I was thinking inside. That is such a dumb question! Why is she bothering me? Can’t she see they are just there temporarily???

So Paige left and went back to her office. That’s when my conscience came in. That was super mean of you Kimmy. What’s wrong with you anyway? Why are you so on edge today? You know that was wrong and you need to apologize.

Later Paige walked up to ask me something and I said, “Hey I’m sorry I snapped at you earlier.”

She just stared at me, “You snapped at me? When?”

I was amazed. “When you asked about the programs!”

She laughed. “Oh, that was a snap? Are you sure? I didn’t think it was a snap but if that’s what is was to you, it’s okay. That was a really dumb question to ask.”

I laughed too, made some coffee and the world got better for the rest of the day. (And I went to bed around 10:30 last night. 🙂

I’ve often thought about whether sin in your heart needs to be confessed out loud. I know we need to confess to the Lord but if I was thinking badly about Joe, do I need to confess that to him or just deal with my heart and move on? I still don’t know. But this time was different because I actually did something. I rarely ever feel angry and when I am, it almost never shows because it’s just for a few seconds. I guess even when I actually act in my anger, people still don’t know. 🙂

Anyway, the moral of the story is: make sure you get plenty of sleep.